How to beat your quarter life crisis and find your life’s purpose
We all know what a mid-life crisis is, men getting sports cars and all that jazz. After all, how many romantic comedies are based around that. But a quarter life crisis is a bit different.
A quarter life crisis is a crisis involving anxiety over the direction and quality of one’s life.
I had my quarter life crisis almost two years ago and it changed everything. I’ll sum it up as to not bore you with the details. In 2018 I started a new job and I absolutely hated it. I was told I’d be trained for the whole of the first week, it was only two days. The woman that trained me, and the manager, were grumpy and not nice in the slightest. One yelled at me for not knowing the abbreviated name for Bristol airport, like come on, who’s going to remember that after two freaking days. It was ridiculous. I spent the night before and the morning of having to go crying, I was so miserable. Anyway, I sucked up my pride and asked for my old job back. But I didn’t want to go back to doing what I was previously doing, (I was a supervisor for Primark). After all, I left for a reason. That’s when the realisation hit that I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life.
Even though it was a pretty crap time for me, it changed my life and I’m so grateful for that; so I want to help you feel the same and hopefully get you through it with less breakdowns than what I had.
HOW TO BEAT YOUR QUARTER LIFE CRISIS AND BACK TO LIVING YOUR BEST LIFE
What’s causing your quarter life crisis?
You may think that it’s just coming out of nowhere, but it isn’t. There’s a reason you’re feeling the way you do. If you’re unsure, try journaling or meditating. The two common reasons are relationship and career/ money related. Maybe you’re freaking out because all of the people you know are in relationships and have a house, getting married etc etc. Perhaps you’re not happy in your job but are unsure of what it is that you really want to do.
No matter what the reason is, there’s a solution. If it’s relationships then start putting yourself out there. Already doing so? Then start doing new things so you can meet new people with similar interests to you. If it’s work related, which it most likely will be, then the rest of my points will help you figure it out.
1 | ACCEPT YOUR THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS
To truly deal with whatever it is that’s causing your quarter life crisis, you have to face your emotions and allow yourself to feel them. I kept pushing mine aside because I wasn’t sure how to deal with them. But that only made things worse and caused unnecessary breakdowns, so many breakdowns, and I don’t want the same thing to happen to you when it’s so easily avoidable. Talk to a loved one, or talk to a stranger about it. My inbox is always open across my social media and I have also created a Facebook group specifically for this reason, to get honest advice from people who don’t know you, which you can join here.
2 | FOLLOW YOUR PASSIONS AND CURIOSITIES
So you know what’s bringing on your quarter life crisis and you’ve opened yourself up to your emotions. Now we need to figure out what it is that you want out of life.
I feel like I’m going to go off on a slight tangent here so feel free to skip this paragraph. When I was little I wanted to be an author like Roald Dahl. I went on to writing scripts, I remember writing a comedic short play about two old ladies and my friends acted it out in my local park. After that it was song writing, then my interest progressed towards film to bring my ideas to life that way. I tried to pursue it after sixth form, but then I met Alex and had an easy job at Primark, then three years later I had my quarter life crisis. For the first time in my life, I had no idea what I wanted to do.
It was only when I took a minute to reflect that I realised that writing was the common denominator of all my dreams, even when I decided to start this blog. It was then that I knew that I wanted to be an author. I had an idea for a children’s book that had been brewing in my mind for about a year, so I decided to write it and am now trying to get it published. Here I am still striving for that dream. Sure, it’s taking me longer than expected. But thinking of how lost and small I felt, I’m just grateful to know what I want to do with my life. To have a clear to reach for.
So have a think about your passions and curiosities, then follow them and see where they take you. For everything that you enjoy, there’s most likely a job for it.
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3 | WHAT DOES YOUR DREAM LIFE LOOK LIKE?
So whether you now know what you want to do with your life, and you can use this point to give you a shove of inspiration and get clear on what you want, or maybe you’ve thought about your curiosities and passions but still feel a bit stuck. This will help.
Sit and have a think about where you want to be in 5 and 10 years. Dream as big as you can and with no limitations. What is your DREAM life? Go and grab a notebook and write it all out. I’m serious, go, this post will still be waiting for you when you come back.
Once you’ve figured that out, work backwards by asking yourself how you got there. You’ll then be left with an action plan to focus on and a vision to keep in your mind when motivation is running low.
This is mine if your interested… I want to be living in a coastal, earthy decorated house with loads of land and right by the sea. I’ll be surrounded by my rescue animals (including my future piggy BFF), and I’ll be spending my time writing novels in my office away from the house, in the middle of all my animal friends.
Just by thinking about it as I type makes me want to get up and be really productive. It does work.
4 | IT’S OKAY TO NOT HAVE A BIG LIFE GOAL
If you’ve done both of these things and still are coming up with nothing, then don’t get disheartened. It may hit you when you’re in the middle of a shower or in the middle of a conversation with a friend, it might not even hit you for a few years.
Consider that you may not have some big career goal and know that there’s nothing wrong with that! Hey, it’s not like you won’t ever have one. Say your dream life is to have a family and be earning good enough money so you can live a comfortable and happy life. If that’s the case then have a look into jobs that you may enjoy from thinking about your passions or interests so you can sustain that dream lifestyle. If you can, try a few different jobs as the best way to know is to do.
5 | THROW AWAY YOUR EXPECTATIONS AND STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS
Forget about where you think you should be or where you thought you would be by this point in your life. Everybody’s timeline is different, they’re like fingerprints. Some people’s timeline shoots up at the start then dips halfway. Some people’s have a few dips at the start then it shoots up later on. Unfortunately, some people have more dips and loops than others, that’s just life I’m afraid. But try to focus on your own life instead of looking at others. Always remember that what people let you see about their life’s is not always a honest reflection. That person that you’re feeling jealous of might actually be worse off than you. Remember that you never truly know what’s going on with a person, no matter how many happy pictures they share online.
Find daily inspiration
This is more of a tip than a step, but I’ve found that having a way to get inspired daily has been key with keeping me motivated. I get my daily inspiration from Kim Krans Animal Spirit Deck, I honestly can’t recommend it enough. It doesn’t matter whether you believe in anything of a spiritual nature, it’s just a fun way to get inspired. The link provided is an affiliate link with Amazon, so if you purchase the cards through that link I will get a small commission at no extra cost to you. It just helps fund the time I put into giving you guys information and advice. You can read more in my disclosure.
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I hope I’ve managed to help you if you feel like you’re facing your quarter life crisis. Take comfort in the fact that the way you feel won’t last forever, even if it feels like it will in this moment. You’ll look back on this time and understand why it was necessary, and hopefully you’ll thank it for pushing you down a better path in life.
Like I say time and time again, my inbox is always open across my social media, and I’m always replying to comments on my blog posts, whether it’s related to that specific topic or not. If you’re interested, you can read my life update post from a little while back after I went through my quarter life crisis here.
If you didn’t know already, I have started a YouTube channel and would really appreciate any love. I also have the video version for this post live now so go check that out – YouTube channel.
“Life is a journey, and if you fall in love with the journey, you will be in love forever.”Peter Hagerty
Keep striving and never give up on your dreams. You’re capable of more than you know.
A hui ho. Not goodbye, but see you later.
For those of you who have been asking, I now buy my vitamin D tablets from SunVit’s Vegan range which I buy on Amazon. Click this link to be taken to them on Amazon (affiliate link).